The long lines. Dreaded Taco Tuesday. The infamously overcooked chicken and undercooked rice. Everyone has their own Sage food stories, but are they really that frequent, or are they just isolated, monstrously bad incidents?
I eat Sage lunch every school day, so for two weeks I documented my lunch until every day was accounted for. Let’s recap.
Monday October 21, 2024
Pasta Monday. A lot of people’s favorite day. Butter or marinara noodles, some sort of mystery meat sauce, and breadsticks. What’s not to love?
This particular day, the hot bar served pasta and marinara sauce and fried chicken, which was their version of chicken parm. The chicken was seasoned well and cooked evenly, and it is really hard to screw up pasta, so the chicken parm (without the parm) was a success (though the marinara was pretty watery). For sure one of the only good meals that Sage serves.
Tuesday October 22, 2024
Taco Tuesday. Most people’s least favorite day of the week (and not just because of the food). Tacos with questionable pork and sporadically stale chips and queso just aren’t everyone’s favorite.
This Tuesday was a little bit different than most. The hot line had tacos (obviously) with the choice of either steak-like meat or dry chicken. They also had beef tamales. The steak was not an awful texture, but, like much of Sage’s food, it lacked flavor. The tamales are a favorite, though, which means they should be around more often.
Wednesday October 23, 2024
Foreign Cuisine Wednesdays. While it is (usually) the first day of the week that we get dessert, it is a very hit or miss day. Sometimes we get a new, interesting dish, but most of the time we end up with some strange mystery meat.
This was one of the cases of a pretty interesting meal. The hot line had shredded butter chicken and (undercooked) rice. They also had naan–a pita bread-like food–which was the only good part of the meal. It could have been more flavorful (which seems to be a theme), but overall not the worst Wednesday ever.
Thursday October 31, 2024
Mystery Meat Thursday. The most dreaded and feared day of the week. The meat is usually whatever is left over from earlier in the week. It is always a toss up, but it usually lands on the bad side of the coin.
The Halloween Sage menu looked a lot like Thanksgiving. The hot line had ham, turkey, mashed potatoes, and cornbread. The ham was oversalted, but it wasn’t the worst thing I’ve ever had. The turkey was dry, though, and the mashed potatoes and cornbread were both dry and flavorless. They also served Halloween cake, which had jelly in it. It was an interesting combination that I don’t think I ever need to try again.
Friday November 1, 2024
Fun Friday. Fridays are usually a good day at Sage. Pizza, chicken nuggets, burgers and wings make frequent appearances, all of which have a pretty good record.
This Friday, the hot line featured popcorn chicken and philly cheesesteaks. The popcorn chicken was good and had a very good ratio of breading to chicken, although they were stingy with the amount of chicken per student. The philly cheesesteak was a different story. The bread was dry, and the little flavor that the meat had was gross. The chocolate chip cookies were nice and warm, so the chocolate was gooey and melted. Hands down the best part of the meal.
I feel I need to add that there are other food options that I failed to mention above. There is always a salad bar, which is consistently decent. There is also a panini bar (ham, cheese, and turkey are commonly available panini toppings), which is usually pretty good. The only downside is the very long wait to use the panini machine. Maybe an investment in more machines would be a good idea (if you’re taking notes Sage, write this down).
Overall, these two weeks were not the worst in recorded Sage history. The major takeaway, though, should be that Sage is trying too hard to complicate food. The only thing that us kids really want is chicken nuggets, pizza, and wings. Or just anything simple. If it wouldn’t be on a kid’s menu in a restaurant, don’t serve it. Even the parents would rather we eat unhealthy food than no food at all. We would rather have something simple that we will eat rather than something fancy (and not very good) that we are skeptical of. So Sage, make this better for us and for you and keep our food simple.
*Disclaimer: This was written before the new Sage Chef was hired and has not been updated since.
