Welcome to the first edition of Quills & Answers with Jack Mezey ’23. I am taking over this column from Ben Tomasic ’21, who left the esteemed column to me in his Senior will last year. Thank y’all for the many questions. Enjoy.

Q. Is an M&M a ravioli?

A. A ravioli is defined as small pasta envelopes containing ground meat, cheese, or vegetables. An M&M is chocolate inside of more chocolate, so no, it is not a ravioli. It is chocolate.

Q. What’s your sign?

A: Assuming that you’re talking about Zodiac signs or whatever they’re called; I’ve been told I’m a Sagittarius. I do not know what this means nor do I understand why this is important. 

Q. Thoughts on Lauri Markkanen to the Cavs? Who’s the next best option for the Mavs?

A. It’s an all-around good move for the Cavs, Bulls, and Blazers. I think Markkanen will have a career year with Cleveland now that he’s out of his bad situation in Chicago. The Mavs have to be disappointed as they were looking to make an upgrade at Center, and with Markkanen off the table, they’re going to hope that JKidd can figure out the enigma that is Kristaps Porzingis. Idealistically, the Mavs’ next best option to improve the squad is trading for Damian Lillard. Back on planet earth, they have to either trade for Goran Dragić or wait for him to be bought out, which would likely happen mid-season. Dragić is friends with Luka Dončić and has expressed that he wants out of Miami and to come to Dallas. He provides a veteran presence that the team needs, as well as a primary ball-handler when Dončić is on the bench. The Mavs must acquire Goran Dragić before the trade deadline, especially after a huge miss on Markkanen.

Q. What do you think of the Dodgers’ season so far?

A. I think they have been pretty solid, but definitely underperformed. They’ve blown way too many close games (looking at you Kenley Jansen) and are either hot or cold at the plate. They are relying too much on the long ball, which leads to scoring 12 runs one day and one the next. They have been hit by the injury bug, but key players like Cody Bellinger have also underperformed. However, since trading for Cy Young winner Max Scherzer and MVP candidate Trea Turner, they have been playing great baseball and have caught up to the Giants in the fight for the NL West pennant. It will be a close and exciting fight down to the finish. 

Q. Is a hot dog a sandwich or a hot dog?

A. The definition of a sandwich states that it must have meat, cheese, or other fillings between TWO pieces of bread. The frank in a hotdog is put inside of a “partially sliced bun.” The bun is still in one piece, therefore, a hotdog is not a sandwich unless the bun breaks into two. And yes, that means that a sub is not a sandwich. It is a sub.

Q. Thoughts on Trevor Noah?

A. I think the Daily Show is pretty corny and not funny at all, but I do think his standup is very good.

Q. What are your thoughts on stripey socks?

A. I am a supporter of fun socks. Whether they are striped or have a fun design on them, I think even at a formal event, it is one of the parts of your outfit that you should have a little fun with. 

Q. Is water wet?

A. Wet is defined as covered or saturated with water. Therefore, water is wet. In a bottle of water, all of the water is covered by, on top of, and surrounded by more water. All of the particles are moving around each other and covering each other. 

Q. Who do you think will win the World Series?

A. I think we’ll have a Dodgers-Astros rematch from 2017. The Dodgers will win in six due to Houston’s lack of starting pitching and Cody Bellinger’s offense exploding throughout the series after a year-long slump. 

Q. What is the best flavor of Powerade?

A. I prefer Gatorade, but I like the Lemon Lime/Yellow flavors the best from both brands.

Q. Thoughts on Donda?

A. Grow up, turn off Kanye, and put on some classic rock. I suggest you start with Fleetwood Mac, then the Eagles.

Q. How would you solve the lines to get into the cafeteria?

A. Go back to doing whatever they did before Covid happened. 

Q. What are your thoughts on the current FWCD administration?

A. Among my grievances, the administration is subpar regarding the marketing of the school. All Saints and TVS students wear comfortable polos with the school’s logo and name on it: free advertising and happy students. FWCD students in middle and high school switch to uncomfortable and hot button-down shirts with no logo or name on them. Why not continue the polo with the logo that the lower schoolers wear? 

Q. Mezey, what are your thoughts on the 2022 FWCD Baseball program?

A. I think we’ll be strong. We made it to the SPC Championship last year and lost in a close game against a team with several college commits. Losing Max Miller ‘21 hurts. He won the team MVP award for a reason. His pitching and offense were great throughout the year, and his level of production will be missed. The juniors and seniors are stronger and better than ever and will be the backbone of the program. But that’s not to say the freshmen won’t be important pieces to the puzzle, especially with pitching. If the freshmen class can provide at least two or three reliable pitchers to pair with the existing rotation, then I think we will be very strong. I’m confident that the hitting won’t be a problem. Our bats will win us ballgames and make any team worried about facing us. If our pitching is reliable, we will have another solid chance at an SPC Championship. 

Q. How will the United States survive if we go to war with the Taliban? 

A. We will not be going to war with the Taliban, that was confirmed when the last American troops flew out of Afghanistan on August 30. Hypothetically, if we were to go to war with the Taliban, I suspect it would divide the country even further than it already is. I could see it turning into a Vietnam-type situation in terms of response from the American people.  

Q. What came first, the chicken or the egg?

A. In order for an egg to hatch, it has to be sat on by a chicken. Therefore, two chickens appeared on earth first, and then they had an egg. Which they sat on. 

Q. Thoughts on the current legal status of Kosovo?

A. I think that they deserve to be recognized as an independent country. The fact that not all countries recognize them as such is ridiculous, as they clearly gained independence from Serbia through a war in 1998 and 1999. Since gaining independence in 2008, America and a majority of UN countries have recognized their independence. While I think all countries should recognize Kosovo as an independent nation, it makes sense that they aren’t. Any country that is remotely tied to Serbia has got a big decision to make. 

Q. If you had a Roman God as a parent, which one would it be?

A. I think I’d go with Apollo. He has many great qualities. He’s truthful, wise, and well-respected among the Gods. I feel like he’d be a caring and teaching father, as well as being cool and fun. 

* To the several people who asked about my personal relationships, thank you for your interest. No further comment.