Why is it that people can tell when someone is the oldest of their siblings? My friends (and even strangers) tell me that I give off “oldest child vibes.” I am the oldest of four–two girls and two boys. Over the years I have noticed that both pressure and privilege come with this responsibility. Both my friends and I are able to see how my personality reflects that of the oldest child.
Over time, studies have shown that older children often experience what is called “Oldest Child Syndrome.” This is seen in both positive and negative ways. Older children tend to be more competitive and well-behaved, and they have strong leadership qualities. On the other hand, they also tend to be perfectionists and feel pressure to do well in order to set a good example for their younger siblings. They often overthink things, which can work in both beneficial and harmful ways, depending on the situation.
Being the eldest child has shaped me into the person I want to be. I do not feel as if too much pressure is placed on me, other than the pressures I place on myself. In fact, I feel like they motivate me in a good way. They provide a healthy balance that pushes me to be successful and my best self. I also think that it allows me to be more patient, since we all know that life can be frustrating at times.
When it comes to overthinking, I can see both the good and bad sides. Overthinking can be detrimental when it comes to social situations such as friends and drama. However, it allows me to catch mistakes on academic assignments and make better decisions. It is part of what fuels my creativity because so many thoughts and ideas go through my head in a short amount of time.
I think that I have a caring, helpful, and uplifting personality. My friends describe me as a joy to be around and always willing to lend a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on. I also believe that I am a good listener. Being the oldest has allowed me to be this way because I know that my siblings look up to me for advice and support.
In fact, some of my favorite moments are when my brothers or sister come to me for help. Even the smallest things make me happy: my little sister coming to me with a brush in her hand so I can do her hair, my youngest brother asking me for help on his Spanish project, or my other brother wanting to practice basketball together. Whether it is advice relating to school, social situations, or something completely different, the fact that they know they can come to me for advice comforts me in so many ways.
Another big part I love about being the oldest is how my siblings are never scared to give me a hug if they see me at school. Even in front of all of their friends, they will still take the time to come over and at least say “hi” or give me a hug. While they may not know it, a lot of the time I need the hugs more than they do. On days where I have a tough test or have gone through some drama socially, their warm hugs are the perfect way for me to take a deep breath and reset.
I love to tell them that embarrassing them is part of my job; however, they always laugh and go along with it. Even if I cheer as loud as I can while watching their games, if I dance in the front seat with the windows down, or if I interrogate their friends at dinner, they always take it with a smile.
So, being the oldest is what makes me, me. Over the years, it has created a compassionate, motivated, and overall, well-rounded girl who is always willing to help a friend. People may say that being the oldest is a very hard position to be in, and, yes, this is true in some ways, but it also comes with so many privileges. I help my siblings navigate tough challenges, but more importantly, they help me. My family’s unwavering love and support is often what gets me through the day. Being the oldest is an honor and a challenge. But, most importantly, it is a blessing in disguise.
