Let me ask something, and try to be honest with yourself: do you have a hobby? Not scrolling on social media, not binge-watching TV, not online shopping late into the night. I mean an actual hobby. Something that lights you up, makes you lose track of time and feels like it’s yours.
Because here’s the pattern I’ve noticed a lot of people are falling into: wake up, go to school/work, come home, dinner, watch TV, scroll on your phone, go to bed, repeat. Maybe homework or sports somewhere in there for students. And yes, we’re all busy, functioning and going through life. But when someone asks “So, what do you do for fun?” do you kind of freeze? Do you laugh it off because you don’t really have an answer?
I believe social media is to blame for this break in hobbies. We spend the time that we could’ve spent learning or having fun, scrolling through our phones. Social media becomes our new “hobby,” and we — as a society — all blend together with nothing unique differentiating us from each other. This causes your mental health to deteriorate and you to feel out of place in the world.
There’s a serious lack of people demonstrating their general interests. I saw a TikTok a few days ago that drove me insane to the point where I had to put my phone away for a little bit and take calming breaths. Essentially, the creator was proposing a new concept: the “girl hobby.” Now you might be wondering “what’s so bad about a girl hobby? What is even a girl hobby? Are you actually so insane that you needed to take a social media break after seeing this TikTok?” Well let me tell you, a girl hobby is a perfect example to demonstrate the upwards-curve of anti-intellectualism and our society’s interest in consumerism as a hobby.
In the TikTok I saw, the creator talks about how “boy hobbies” include fantasy football, working out, video games, etc., all actual activities and that society has determined to be “masculine” (obviously they are not because there are so many women who share these hobbies). She then went on to say that girls need to have their own hobbies, and made a list of what she determined are “girl hobbies” including: buying a little treat, rotting in bed, going on a walk, shopping from bed, social media, and making lists.
Now I would like you to read that list again and ask yourself, how can some of these be considered hobbies? If I responded to my original question with: “Hi, I’m Lila and my hobbies are social media and a little treat,” I would probably spontaneously combust. I find it fascinating that so many people (300k??) liked this video, seemingly relating to or agreeing with this concept. It would be hypocritical of me not to acknowledge that I do enjoy some of these things, but I would never say any of these are my hobbies. It’s insane to me that so many of these “hobbies” are rooted in consumerism, but not surprising. In the age of social media, consumerism in encouraged in every aspect: you absolutely need this mascara because an influencer told you so; the current aesthetic is “old-money,” so you need to go buy a fur coat and a brand new wardrobe; Stanley cup; Drunk Elephant; little treat; Lana Del Rey coquette necklace; Dior saddle bag dupe… It’s a constant stream of products being thrown in our faces. I could go off on a whole other tangent about the commodification of aesthetics and the direct effect this has on the mindset of young women that perfectly encapsulates how I feel, but I’ll say for now that if this continues, things look bleak.
Years from now, social media’s effect on young people’s development and their sense of self will be studied. 12-year-olds shouldn’t act like grown women, and grown women shouldn’t act like 12-year-olds. Having hobbies and interests means truly embracing yourself, taking the time to cultivate your own passions and allow yourself to develop your own individual identity.
But if any of this rambling sounds like you, you’re not alone. It should, however, be a bit of a wake-up call. Everyone deserves something outside of school/job, relationships and responsibilities. Something that makes you excited just for the sake of being excited.
That’s the beauty of hobbies.
Having a hobby isn’t just something fun to fill your time. It genuinely changes how you feel, how your brain works and even how others see you. And I mean this quite literally:
- New skills build new neutral pathways, keeping you sharper and more focused over time.
- Your nervous system calms down.
- You get into a state of flow where you’re so immersed in what you’re doing that you lose track of time.
- A hobby gives you a sense of identity outside your relationships with others, something that belongs to you.
- You begin to notice more beauty in ordinary moments, thinking in new ways and feeling more inspired by the world around you.
- You become more magnetic. More specifically, when someone has passions, they immediately become more interesting. It’s captivating to have something of your own.
- And when was the last time you’ve done something just because it was fun? Hobbies remind us what that feels like. It connects with your “inner child.”
The bottom line here is that hobbies are not just a way to stay busy. They’re one of the best ways to foster your mind, mood and energy.
If you’re sitting there thinking, okay, but what hobby should I even try? Then you’re in luck because today I’m sharing a list of ideas that are (hopefully) fun, creative and doable:
Embroidery- I used to embroider, so this is from experience. If you’re a lover of personalization and monogramming, this one’s for you. It’s slow and soothing, plus, you end up with the prettiest little heirloom pieces for your home (or to give as gifts).
Pottery- This is on my list to try. Hands in clay, creating something you can actually use. Imagine drinking tea out of a mug you’ve actually made for yourself? Mr. Mahle is teaching a class after school, so if you don’t want to go far, there is always that option.
Floral Arranging- I swear this is more than just tossing flowers into a vase. With floral arrangements you learn about proportions, color stories, which vase size to use and all about seasonal florals. And if you like to hold dinner parties, this one definitely comes in handy.
Calligraphy- This might be my definition of an elegant hobby. It comes in handy in so many scenarios, from journaling to invitations, it makes even the smallest notes feel special, chic and elegant.
Cooking or Baking Classes- I understand this one is a bit more time consuming, but think French pastry, Italian pasta or sushi-making. I absolutely love baking (even though I sort-of suck at it) and one of my goals is to learn how to make perfect homemade macarons and croissants. It’s calming and you get to eat the results.
Photography- Photography is such a beautiful hobby because you actually see light and composition, not just take a picture. I love it when I can make my photos look like a little piece of art instead of just snapshots. You can learn on your own, take an online course or join an in-person class if you want more hands-on learning (Mrs. Arnold is teaching one) .
Learning an Instrument- I happen to play piano (I would like to say fairly well), and I do bring it up at every possible opportunity. I know a lot of people who used to play when they were younger but can’t so much now. Why not pick it up again? It is never too late to learn. Piano, violin, guitar, recorder, bass, I mean whatever calls to you.
Learning a New Language- I envy everyone who is fluent in more than one language (mentally cursing little me for not speaking in Italian more often). While there are so many apps you can use to learn a language, there is nothing more immersive than taking an in-person language class. Learning a language offers opportunities to expand culture, travel, and unlock new ways of thinking. Just imagine ordering flawlessly in French.
Interior Decorating- Making your house (or maybe just room) feel like a beautiful home is always going to be a useful skill. You can take a course or literally just start practicing. You can learn textures, color pallets and layouts that make your home feel beautiful and personal.
Dance- I always wish that I never quit all my dance classes as a child, but this doesn’t have to be something you “missed out on.” You can absolutely start at any time. I mean I personally love to hit a little Just Dance on my down time.
Art- Start small and simply learn to draw. Over time you develop an eye for style, history and composition. It’s cultural, inspiring and a beautiful way to surround yourself with things that tell a story.
Fashion Sketching- This is a beautiful hobby if you love style and creativity, even if you aren’t a designer. It teaches you to slow down, observe detail and connect more deeply with your personal style. Even if you never create a garment, you learn to see clothing as a form of expression, not just as a purchase. This could also be shortened down to just sketching in general, which is another great hobby.
If you prefer to stay at home, there are so many beautiful resources available. Things like Masterclass, where you learn directly from people who are true experts, are perfect because there is genuinely something for every interest.
But I personally think there is something special about going in person. The atmosphere, the ritual of showing up, the energy of learning besides others, it’s special in a way you cannot replicate through a screen. And you might meet someone who shares similar interests as you, which is often how friendships begin.
Your hobby doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be yours. You don’t need to monetize it, post it on Instagram or be the best at it. It’s not about achievement or productivity, it’s about joy. It’s about giving yourself a little corner of life that’s just for fun, creativity and curiosity.
And don’t worry about messing up or not being perfect at whatever you try. Making mistakes is the only way to grow and get better at something. And it’s the only way to understand what is wrong and what is right, both objectivity and in our personal lives. If you are so terrified of making a single mistake because it can make you look stupid, you will never make mistakes and will consequently never grow.
And when someone asks you, “What do you do for fun?” you’ll finally have an answer that lights you up from the inside.
